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July 5, 2010 / natihell

Garbage Dress, Why?!

A reader named M8 asked me to write about this blog named Garbage Dress, I had never seen it before so I looked for it as soon as I had free time. I really want to say thank you to M8, for introducing it to me.

Garbage Dress is written by a girl named Zana Bayne,who lookes like a tranny version of Robert Smith. Also, she’s always sporting a dead french poodle over her head… what’s up with that, Garbage Dress?

Looking through her blog, I couldn’t help but feel terribly bored. It was like thousands and thousands of pictures of her whearing the same diaper-looking dresses and black leggins… and that stupid poodle on her head.

That hanging piece of fabric is totally killing it, because it looks like a turd!! OMG!!

Sometimes she doesn’t wear big black baggy dresses because she is too busy cleaning chalkboard erasers in other big blak baggy dresses:

I stole this glasses from a 6 year old.

Just when I thought that this girl couldn’t be more boring, I came across this pictures:

"Scandal!!!"

Oh my, are those your boobs? Why are you naked? Oh, no, wait a second… It’s a top made to look like you’re wearing nothing but black circles over your boobs!!

.

..

WHY, GARBAGE DRESS, WHY?? Someone, anyone! Give me one good reason for buying this hideous and stupid top. I seriously can’t think of a single person that would look good on this top, so why is she wearing it? Does she actualy think she’s “killing it” ? Anyway, I was so busy feeling violated by the image of Garbage Dress wearing this top that I hadn’t noticed the pants. In her own words:

From the moment that I saw OAK‘s Spring/Summer lookbook, I knew in my heart that I had to own the net harem pants. Do you ever have inexplicable love? Me too (plus they have pockets). Upon first glance they may seem impractical, but after playing around with them in my current wardrobe I’ve figured out a few ways to seamlessly work them in.

Oh well, thank God for the pockets!! If this pants didn’t have pockets, they would have been the stupidest pants ever, but since they do have pockets, it’s alright… NOT. This shit looks like it’s meant to carry lemons. And hunny, considering that everything else in your current wardrobe is impractical or diaper-like, I would find it hard for you to not work them in.

Oh God...

After this terrible shock, I was starting to get bored again. I don’t know much time I can stand looking at a Robert Smith with boobs wearing black all the time, but suddenly, I saw that she does wear color sometimes:

derp

I had tried on the printed version (…) but I felt like the print was too similar to a few pieces that I already own and did not want to have a redundant collection of blotchy blackish whitish dresses. Buying it in black would have been a no brainer, but for the first time the lack of color seemed to detract from how special the dress is.

Ok… first of all: you don’t want to have a redundant collection of the same colored dresses?? Seriously… like… Seriously??  And second: the lack of color detracted from how special the dress is?? What the Hell? It’s an ugly shapeless dress, like every single garment you own!! God, bitch, don’t contradict yourself. And by the way, black is a color, dumbass.

Dear Garbage Dress: Why are you so painfully boring? And, why do you wear your hair like that, don’t you know the 80’s are over? And why do you keep buying shit that looks the same?? Don’t you ever get bored? Buy some jeans, go get some sunlight and stop trying to shock everybody with your mesh pants, it’s not nice.

Love,

Nati Hell.

PD: On the bright side, she has beautiful eyes, and she desings some leather accesories like harnesses or someshit like that and some of them are actually very cool. And by the way, all of this pictures are property of Garbage Dress.

DERP DERP DERP!! ME CAN FLYYYYY!!!

14 Comments

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  1. m8 / Jul 5 2010 12:10 pm

    Awesome! Thanks for checking it out!…. I actually saw her on the street on Saturday. No better in person, lol!

  2. Anna Pei / Jul 5 2010 6:14 pm

    To be 100% fair to her, she’s really young (just 21, I think) and works for a living to buy shit with her own money (this is apart from her accessory line, btw). And this is extraneous but I appreciate the fact that she’s not a skinny minny like every other fashion blogger/fashion person out there, nice to see a somewhat non-model-size girl who enjoys fashion.
    And at the very least, her taste for black and funny-shaped stuff is consistent- I can bet money she won’t be running around in beige/camel/whatever they’re choosing to call the colour that will be big next season.

    • natihell / Jul 6 2010 3:07 am

      21?? Really? What the hell is wrong with all this goth-ish, tranny looking blogger girls? (See my post about Silent Doe).

  3. Anna Pei / Jul 5 2010 6:21 pm

    And yeah, unlike Sea, this one actually seems to shoot for some originality in her design (only in Sea’s case it should be “design”) and works on the leather herself.

  4. Anna Pei / Jul 5 2010 6:45 pm

    Nati- for the sake of my sanity, will you spare Style Bubble and Kingdom of Style? They are really good blogs and don’t deserve to be mocked, but I would LOVE to see you give the DERP DERP DERP and two middle fingers to http://whatiwore.tumblr.com/. Most pointless, boring “fashion” blog ever, constantly banging on about her ‘sponsors’ and can’t put an outfit together to save her life.

    PS: you should trademark the DERP DERP DERP or something.

    • Eliza / Jul 5 2010 8:25 pm

      I saw What I Wore once. It’s like my cousin in South Carolina started a fashion blog. She’s completely devoid of not just originality, but personality too. It’s only a few more years until she spotlights that “too cute” Land’s End pullover.

    • natihell / Jul 5 2010 11:21 pm

      I really looove Kingdom of Style hahaha, so don’t worry, I won’t “WHY?!” them. And Style Bubble, I’ve never actually taken the time to sit down and read it, but I’ve heard that Susie Bubble is really sweet, and well, I have a heart haha.

      And btw, WIW has it coming, wait for it 😉

  5. Anna Pei / Jul 5 2010 6:48 pm

    PPS: Also, whatiwore has the crappest hairstyle I’ve ever seen on a girl. At least garbage dress has the excuse of curly hair, this girl’s is straight and looks like she should be a 45 year old high school principal, not a 20something. Sorry if the blog makes you fall asleep though- it is that boring, and badly ‘written’ too!

  6. The Raisin Girl / Jul 14 2010 5:29 am

    I beg your pardon, Miss Pei, but being 21 is no excuse. Being 15 and going through your “dark phase,” maybe. But only if you write a lot of poetry during class and listen to A.F.I. and cut gym to plan your future tattoos and smoke pot outside. Except that most of the current generation of emos and goths aren’t hardcore or whatever enough to actually smoke pot.

    I’m 21, and I don’t dress like I get hand-me-downs from the Addams family. So you can see how I might resent the association?

    • Anna Pei / Jul 19 2010 11:37 am

      I wasn’t saying that all 21 year olds dress like her, and honestly I can’t see what is so bad about wearing lots of black (and I love the Addams family, being compared to them is something I would actually like a lot). Some people just like black, is all. It’s fine if you don’t like it, too.

      I have quite a few friends who are stoners. Not one of them wears black, and they would probably laugh me out of the room if I suggested it as a ‘look’ for them. (I mean, seriously, can you ever see Harold and Kumar as emo/goths?)

  7. zana / Jul 18 2010 6:42 am

    Hey, thanks for the feature! So glad you like all of the photos that I took, nice of you to credit them as well. I’m glad that there is no reason for people to buy the clothing that I wear, because honestly I prefer to look a li’l different (impracticality is practically a make or break factor in my dressing).

    And to answer your requests, I won’t buy jeans because they don’t work with my womanly curves, I shan’t get sunglight because I work too much in the daytime (besides I’m prone to skin cancer), and I find grave pleasure in shocking defenseless pedestrians with my mesh pants. I also find it interesting that according to your commentary I am both painstakingly boring and a visual conundrum!

    But regardless – thanks for the compliment on my eyes and my accessories.

  8. harps / Aug 1 2010 11:48 am

    I usually agree with you blog mocking, but Zana doesn’t deserve this! Garbage Dress is far from boring. At least she isn’t another mindless twat whoring her body out trying to emulate Roooomi/Wasson

    • Anna Pei / Aug 3 2010 8:30 am

      I agree with you- Garbage Dress is actually a blog I like, and I can’t see why people need to be criticised for wearing too much black. But Zana has actually been a good sport about it, which makes me respect her even more.

  9. gus / Nov 10 2010 2:33 am

    really, it looks like you a bit of time on your hand. The naked top is made by Martin Margelia, not that you would know this. oh and also, you’re a donkey, get your shit together.

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